


Never forget You

by fanfic_originals



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Boys Being Boys, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Boys' Love, Childhood, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Dorks in Love, First Love, Friendship/Love, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Underage Kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:55:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25254190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfic_originals/pseuds/fanfic_originals
Summary: They were childhood friends but separated due to unprecedented circumstances, only to meet years later.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji & Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji & Tsukishima Kei, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou & Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou & Tsukishima Kei, Past Relationships - Relationship, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 91
Collections: Flaws





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know how everyone keeps saying that it is basically impossible for the ship BokuAkaKurooTsuki to happen because they are in different regions, hours apart. Well screw that...
> 
> Anyway enjoy this :)

_"I will never leave you alone Kei. The three of us will never leave you alone ever."_

Those were the last words Tsukishima heard before his friends left for Tokyo, leaving him in Miyagi alone.

Kei makes his way to school currently in the evening. They are supposed to set out to Shinzen high for their 1 week long training camp. "Tsukki, are you excited?" Yamaguchi is basically jumping next to him. "I guess it's alright." Tsukishima shrugged. He isn't too ecstatic about this whole camp happening, the fact that they had to travel through the night just to get there. "Tsukki, show some excitement." Yamaguchi nudged him slightly. He didn't care. Tsukishima simply slipped on his headphones and closed his eyes to get some sleep if possible on the bus.

He guessed it was possible when he was nudged awake by vice-captain, team mum, Sugawara. Tsukishima just opened his eyes and stood up and stretched before stepping out of the seat and made his way out of the bus. The other schools were there to welcome them. Tsukishima can't be bothered as he yawned and stretched while being pushed into the school building by Yamaguchi. "Tsukishima, do you have any idea why those people are staring at you?" Sugawara came beside Tsukishima. Tsukishima turned over to look at where Sugawara is point at and saw 3 pairs of eyes. He recognise them but just shrugged, "Not sure."

This week is going to be a whole lot of interesting.

"Here is the room you will be staying in for the week." One of the Shinzen students said and left the room. The tables have been pushed back and futons were laid, probably provided by the school in case such camps happen.

Seeing the faces of he childhood friends, he remembers a really funny memory. _"If you're single and unwanted when you reach high school! We will be your boyfriends." Bokuto shouts, words weren't that well spoken. Akaashi nods animatedly and Kuroo just kissed his cheeks._ Well memories will only be memories. Tsukishima is sure that the three of them are dating someone, looking all hot and a full course meal. The team got settled down before they made their way to the courts to warm up for their games.

His coach telling him to sit out while he allowed other teammates who usually don't play official games to take his place. He sits at the side as he watch the game but he felt the searing gaze of 3 people who just wouldn't let it go. He looks at them to only get a flustered reaction. The edges of his lips lift up slightly. Did they grow up to become dorks?

"Tsukishima, you're up." Coach Ukai called for him. Tsukishima stands up to switch with Narita. He stands at his place right in front of the net. He can still feel the gazes of 3 people on him and at this point, he couldn’t really care as he keeps his eyes on the opponent. They are on the serve with Yamaguchi at the back.

The game went well, kinda well, but they still lost. There is still a penalty so they are now at the base of the slope they are supposed to run up. On the mark of his teams captain, they ran up the slope and back down. He isn’t the fastest but he isn’t the slowest either. He came down and grabbed his bottle before going to the side to lean against the wall.

“Glasses.” Bokuto comes over. Tsukishima stood up straight so he isn’t leaning on the wall. “I’m Tsukishima.” Tsukishima bowed his head to the older. Bokuto looks at him with narrowed eyes. “Is there something on my face Bokuto-san?” Tsukishima look at the older questioningly. It seems that Tsukishima speaking his name only got a more confused look.

Bokuto walks closer to Tsukishima, “How do you know my name?” Tsukishima tries to wreck his head for answers. “That’s because you used to be the top 3 aces in the nation.” Tsukishima remembered his older brother getting a sports magazine that covers high school volleyball just last year. His older pointed out Bokuto since, they used to play together when they were younger.

Bokuto started grumbling about how he is supposed to still be in top 3 if not for Ushijima who only managed to climb up the ranks recently. Akaashi came over to pull Bokuto away which Tsukishima is grateful for. “Is he causing problems for you?” Akaashi asks as he stands next to the ace.

Tsukishima shook his head. Kuroo soon came to join this small crowd that is forming. “Why are you flirting with my boyfriends?” Kuroo asks as he hooks his arm around Tsukishima. The younger rolled his eyes before looking at Kuroo, “I have no interest in your boyfriends. Well I guess you kept your promise to them then.” Tsukishima pushes his glasses up before shrugging away the arm that is placed around him.

“Promise? What possible promise could I have made that would result in this outcome?” Kuroo asks. “It’s no matter. Don’t dwell on it.” Tsukishima makes his way towards his team. Bokuto, Akaashi and Kuroo are simply dumbfounded as they watched Tsukishima walk away. Whatever Tsukishima had said, simply didn’t make much sense to the three older boys. 

"What were you talking about with the that group over there?" Yamaguchi got curious when Tsukishima stopped to talk with 3 people from 2 different schools. "Nothing important." Tsukishima never made it known that his friends were in Tokyo. "Sugawara-san, I'm going to the washroom." He informs before making his way to the washrooms. Who knew he would meet his childhood friends and another shocking information is they are dating each other?

Tsukishima stood in front of the mirror. He looked at himself from top to wherever the mirror cut off. He shook his head rather harshly before splashing water at his face. "You have to forget them." Tsukishima mumbles to himself before he walks out of the washroom, wiping the water from his face and makes his way to the courts.

"Tsukki! We're playing against Nekoma." Yamaguchi walked over to him when he enters the court. He looks over at the court and the game had already started. "Coach said you will start in the next set." Tsukishima only nodded at what Yamguchi said as he made his way to the side. Somehow, Tsukishima thinks that they are better off not knowing that he is their little 'Kei-chan'. They were too young remember him. Tsukishima only remembers because his mother has pictures and he has written their names all over his notebook probably at least a thousand times.

They seemed cool to him back then, and still seemed cool to him now. The first set finished rather quickly and Tsukishima has replaced one of the middle blockers on the court. "Eh Tsukki, you're finally on the court huh?" Kuroo tried to stare him down but Tsukishima has definitely grown taller than Kuroo who used to tower him. Tsukishima just looked bored as he stood in front of the net. He adjusted himself to enter his zone.

"Hey, don't make such a serious expression. This is just a practice game." Tsukishima doesn't answer the black haired boy who stood in front of him. "Your're no fun." Kuroo huffed just as the referee blew the whistle to signal the serve.

The ball rallied back and forth between the two teams. No one is willing to surrender the point to the other, including Tsukishima who usually seemed uninterested in winning. Maybe it is because he is playing against Kuroo. He wants to show how strong he really is to the older. Kuroo smiles, seeming to have a lot of fun in their game. Tsukishima also seem to be having a lot of fun.

The game ended with score 2-1, Nekoma winning. The Karasuno team lined up at the base of the slope. They ran up then came down. "Wahh! I can run at least 10 more laps! Shoyo, run with me." Nishinoya hyped in the background. "Okay!" Hinata shouted and ran of with the older. Tsukishima just leaned against the wall once again. They would be having a short break right now for 15 minutes.

“Doesn’t Tsukishima look familiar?” Not too far away from Tsukishima, the 3 boyfriends stood together discussing loudly. “I can’t help but feel like I have seen him before.” Tsukishima can’t help but want to laugh. They have definitely seen him before. “His name also sounded really familiar. Didn’t we know a Tsukishima when we were still in Miyagi?” Tsukishima smiles.

It’s alright if he is simply completely forgotten. “You know talking about someone behind their backs is bad.” Tsukishima look over at the 3 older boys. “We weren’t talking bad things about you.” Bokuto is quick to defend with puffed out cheeks. “I know.” Tsukishima looked at them carefully, eyes scanning their bodies and features. They are perfect.

He thinks that he won’t be able to match up to them. “Tsukishima Kei! Let’s have a battle.” Hinata is jumping next to the blond who us having an annoyed look. “No. Now, run along. I don’t want to see you.” Tsukishima crossed his arms. “Kei? That sounded really familiar.” Kuroo placed a hand under his chin as he tried to recall.

“Don’t bother trying to remember me. I probably won’t live up to _your_ standards.” Tsukishima said nothing more and walked towards their direction, before passing them to make his way to his team. ‘It is better like this‘, he convinces himself. It is all better because he isn’t with them.

Yamaguchi came and sit down next to Tsukishima. “What’s wrong? They seem insistent on you.” Yamaguchi swings his legs as he stare up at the ceiling lights. Tsukishima looked around, making sure that the 3 older boys weren’t there before telling Yamaguchi the truth that he kept since their practice match in Miyagi a few months ago when Nekoma came over. It is a truth that didn’t need to be brought out to light.

“Kei-chan! Why did you hide it from us?” Bokuto literally dashed into the gym. Akaashi trying to pull him back. Kuroo just looking questioningly at the blond. “Sorry for eavesdropping but we were right outside and we heard you.” Akaashi apologised.

They didn’t change much from his memories of them. “So are you unwanted and single?” Kuroo asks with a smirk on his face. “Oh, he is definitely single, but not unwanted!” Yamaguchi smiles brightly. He is so happy that his best friend finally reunites with his childhood friends who had moved to Tokyo so many years ago.

Tsukishima glared at the freckled boy beside him, “Keep quiet, Yamaguchi.” Bokuto seemed to jump up to the sky before bolting to Tsukishima and hugging the daylights out of the blond. “Oh god! Kei! I really missed you.” Bokuto was really loud, right beside his ears. He really wonders if he would go deaf with Bokuto. “We are so sorry that we left you alone in Miyagi.” Bokuto pulls away with a sad expression.

Tsukishima looks at him with a almost blank stare, then his lips that had been a thin tight light, soften into a smile. “It’s fine. I had a fun time being alone.” Tsukishima shrugged. “We promised to be with you forever so you won’t be alone. How quickly we broke that promise to you.” Kuroo takes a seat beside Tsukishima.

“I don’t really care about that anymore. Not to mention I’m taller than all of you.” Tsukishima laughs as both Kuroo and Bokuto pulls away with a shocked face. Tsukishima shrugged before standing up and make his way to Akaashi. “Akaashi is still the best out of the 3 of you.” Tsukishima hugs the older.

“He likes me better. Looks like I win.” Akaashi smiles before grabbing Tsukishima’s hand and placing a gentle kiss on the blond’s knuckles. Tsukishima could feel a wave of heat crawling up his neck when Akaashi did that.

He has never ever imagined this to happen. He thought that maybe by the time they reunited, they would have their own girlfriends or maybe even married. Reality doesn’t meet expectations. Tsukishima turns his head away to hide his blush. “You know, I thought I would see you with girls and not each other.” Tsukishima speaks in a low tone.

“A promise is a promise.” Kuroo shrugged. “You have changed so much, we couldn’t recognised you.” Bokuto explored him with fascination, well sorta.

“We have never forgotten you, not even for a day.” Akaashi placed another kiss on Tsukishima’s knuckles. They aren’t going to admit to almost forgetting Tsukishima completely. “Neither have I.” Tsukishima covers his face. He is very sure that he is bright red right now. “I didn’t know our Kei-chan was capable of such expression.” Kuroo came over to where Tsukishima was standing and gently removes the hand that hides that blushing face. “Adorable.” Kuroo chuckles.

Their break was over a little faster than expected so the boys split, well Tsukishima is the first to walk away. He won’t join them no matter what.

“I was determined to never reunite with them.” Tsukishima glared at his best friend who has a sheepish smile on his face. “This is the last time I’ll meet them.” Tsukishima shrugged as he removed his glasses to wipe the sweat off his face. “You can’t do that Tsukki.” Yamaguchi grabbed onto the blond’s arm. “Oh I can.” Tsukishima placed his glasses back on before looking at Yamaguchi with a pointed look.

Yamaguchi sighed. There’s nothing he could do.


	2. Chapter 2

So the games continued for the rest of the day, Karasuno was met with a whole lot of penalties that they couldn’t even count. Right now the sky was dark and they were on their last game for the day. Tsukishima was sitting out this game while others play.

Yamaguchi was standing next to Tsukishima as they watch the game progress. “You should talk to them, Tsukki. It’s a rare chance.” Yamaguchi said which only caused Tsukishima to roll his eyes. “You know, I really can’t be bothered to reunite with them. I had really hoped our reunion was later than sooner.” Tsukishima sighs.

He then remembers a memory from the past. _Bokuto and Kuroo would be passing a volleyball between them as Tsukishima and Akaashi sat at the side watching them. They have always loved volleyball._ Then and now. “I shouldn’t have started playing volleyball.” Tsukishima mutters.

Yamaguchi sulks, “But you’re now here, so just talk to them. I’m sure that they miss you a lot.” Tsukishima glares at Yamaguchi. “I’m not their perfect little Kei-chan from years ago when we were kids. I will never be able to meet their standards. Look at them.” Tsukishima sighs, “I mean, I know you mean well, but I’m just not in their league.”

Yamaguchi furrows his eyebrows as he looks at Tsukishima. Yamaguchi is sure he heard it wrong, but the expression on Tsukishima’s face told him the opposite.

Soon the games ended, everyone is headed for their own individual training at the various courts available. Tsukishima got his stuff and made his way to the classroom blocks. His head hung low as he made his way to the room he was assigned.

He wasn’t watching his way and he was so engrossed with his thoughts that he had bumped into someone and fell back on his backside. “I’m so sorry.” Tsukishima said as he stood up and dusted himself off, “ I wasn’t watching my...way.” Tsukishima look up to see Kuroo standing there.

Tsukishima bowed once more before making his way past Kuroo and towards the rooms, but Kuroo held onto his arm. “Kei-chan, what’s wrong? Why are you avoiding us like this? We missed you so much. We are sorry that we couldn’t recognise you and we didn’t remember you until we eavesdropped on your conversation with your friend just now. So why?” Kuroo asked, slightly desperate.

Tsukishima sighs. Tsukishima then turn to face Kuroo, and sighs once more. “Nothing is wrong. I just... can’t be with you guys.” Tsukishima looks even worse. Every time he says that, his realisation only hits harder, that he simply isn’t enough for them.

“Kei?” Akaashi is standing behind Tsukishima, “Why can’t you be with us?” Tsukishima sucked in a breath before looking over at Akaashi. They are his weakness. “I just... cant.” The last word came out as a mere whisper but is amplified by the silence of the night.

Tsukishima pushed up his glasses with his free hand. “Well I have to go wash up and call it a night, so please excuse me.” Tsukishima frees his arm from Kuroo’s grasps and made his way past Akaashi to go to the classrooms. Tsukishima’s 180 degree attitude change towards them, hurts them more than it hurts him.

Kuroo makes his way over to Akaashi and pull the younger into a hug. “Don’t worry, he will come back to us for sure. I will make sure of it.” Kuroo promises as his hands rub soothing circles on Akaashi’s back while the other shields Akaashi’s face.

Tsukishima is now rummaging through his bag for his sleep clothes, which he couldn’t seem to find, so he settled with one of his training gears. He grabbed his toiletries and towels and made his way to the showers. The corridors were dark and empty. Everyone was still training. Tsukishima stepped into the empty shower room. He stripped off his clothes in one of the cubicles.

Tsukishima turn on the water supply and sighs as the cold water hit his skin. He felt bad, brushing his friends off like this, but he just isn’t enough. Tsukishima thinks he isn’t enough for the 3 older boys. They just seem a little far to reach. Tsukishima pour some shampoo on his hand and massages it into his hair. It was strawberry scented which calms him a lot.

He washed off the soap before rubbing his also strawberry scented shower gel onto his body. He sighs, if only he could be as perfect as these man made shower supplies then he wouldn’t have to be so bothered about all of this.

After washing off the soap and drying himself off, he changed into his clothes and made his way out. It was cold as the night winds blew against him. “I should have brought my jacket along.” Tsukishima mutters as he sneezes. He makes his way back to the same classroom and hang up his towel for it to dry. He sat on his futon as he stared at his phone. He scrolled through his music playlists before picking one.

He plugged in his headphones and let himself drown in his music. He then tapped on one of the reading sites he has on his phone and started his read. He loves reading, learning new things is addicting and he loves to throw himself into the plot of those fictional books that he sometimes read. It was fun.

Tsukishima was so engrossed with with book that he didn’t realise that his teammates had entered the room until Yamaguchi pushed his phone down slightly. “We are going to go grab dinner. You wanna come?” Yamaguchi asks and Tsukishima only stood up. The team made their way downstairs to get their dinner.

They sat at a table together. Tsukishima sat at the furthest end, next to Yamaguchi, Sugawara sitting right opposite of him. Tsukishima picked at his food, not really interested with filling his stomach with much needed food. “Something wrong, Tsukishima?” Sugawara asks, perceptive and observant, just like the setter the older is.

Tsukishima smiles sadly, “I’m fine. It is nothing too important bothering me.” Sugawara just looked at Tsukishima with eyes filled with concern but decided not to push the younger further if he wasn’t willing to talk.

Tsukishima slowly brought the food up to his mouth, but he could feel the uncomfortable gazes that are trained on him. What did they want from him? Wasn’t he, clear enough with his intentions? He can’t be with them because he would taint their relationship. That is what he really thinks but he will not tell the 3 of them the truth of things.

Tsukishima took a deep breath in, before breathing out and then turning his head to face his childhood friends. He stared at them and they stared back. They were basically having a staring contest at this point. “Tsukki, eat quickly. We are going back soon.” Yamaguchi nudged Tsukishima’s side. “You guys go up first. I’ll definitely come back later.” Tsukishima continued eating, ignoring the 3 older boys as the Karasuno team left the table leaving Tsukishima alone.

Bokuto, Kuroo and Akaashi saw this and took the chance to approach the now alone Tsukishima. “What’s wrong?” Tsukishima asks as he continues to bring the food up to his mouth. “We want to keep our promise.” Kuroo says. “It’s fine if you don’t. That was just a promise between kids. It didn’t matter. You didn’t mean it back then.” Tsukishima says.

Speaking about promises, he still remembers how Kuroo would always keep his promises. _“Kei, I promise I will buy you that popsicle you like tomorrow.” Kuroo was holding onto Tsukishima’s hand as they made their way back home. The popsicle that Tsukishima liked was out of stock so they had to go home empty handed, but Kuroo promised._ The older would definitely come back with the promised popsicle the next day. It would make Tsukishima so happy that the younger would smile from ear to ear the whole day.

Tsukishima looked up at them, before sighing, “You don’t have to keep the promise. Your tastes would have changed, plus that was just a meaningless promise made between kids. You couldn’t possibly have meant it.” Kuroo took Tsukishima’s hand. He stares hard into Tsukishima’s eyes, into the younger’s soul. “We meant every bit of that promise, no matter how much time had passed. We love you and that’s all we really know.” Kuroo speaks, he speaks from his heart.

Kuroo never lies, he also never fakes his feelings. The older always spoke the truth and from his heart. He never does things half heartedly. They never change. Tsukishima, however, did. He changed after they left. They left him alone and he was forced to build this hard and unapproachable shell around himself to protect himself from the harsh world around him, even as a kid.

Tsukishima made no effort to pull his hand away, but his face gave that sad look. For their happiness, Tsukishima is just willing to suffer.

He will keep his word about never, ever going back to them. He will never ever reunite with them. He will carve these words into his heart. Even if they are his weaknesses, he won’t let himself fall into their traps. Well they aren’t exactly traps but he can’t help but give in to them, after all those time he had spent with them when he was younger, they weren’t a waste, a relationship, a bond was truly born.

Tsukishima took a breath before saying, “I’m sorry to disappoint you but like I have said before, this relationship isn’t possible. I am still in Miyagi and you guys are here. It is at least a few hours away. We really have to consider those options. Not to mention, I am not your perfect match.” Tsukishima mumbles the last part so that they wouldn’t hear him. He knows that they will say he is perfect for them.

“But...but.” Bokuto tries to say something but Tsukishima just stands up. “I’m so sorry. There will be nothing you say that will be able to convince me otherwise of my current decision. I have made my choice, so I hope you will respect them.” Tsukishima quickly finishes his food. He stands up and clears his table before making his way out of the cafeteria.

The 3 older boys just stood there, not knowing what to do exactly. The intentions of Tsukishima Kei were made extremely clear to them by the blond himself.

“Why did we leave? What did we do wrong?” Bokuto messes up his head as he is getting frustrated with Tsukishima’s replies to their advances.

“Let’s just try spend more time with him. We will invite him to our individual practice at night. He has no reasons to reject that right? They want to go to nationals. We will help him.” Akaashi says as he grabs onto Kuroo’s hand, the one that had held Tsukishima’s hand.

Even though it was an indirect contact, Akaashi is slightly happy.

Tsukishima is back at the classroom, he is sitting on his futon which is next to Yamaguchi. “You talked to them?” Yamaguchi asks. Tsukishima just nodded, not really talking since he didn’t feel like it. He felt like talking to them had already used up his word counts for the week. He is a man of few words. “Did it go well?” Yamaguchi asks. “Could it possibly have gone well?” Tsukishima sighs. It was obvious, it didn’t go well, though it went Tsukishima’s way.

“Tsukki, put in more effort. It has been so many years. I’m sure you miss them a lot, right?” Yamaguchi smiles brightly. “Are you my best friend or not? They are people of my past. Even if they reappear again, it is only going to be for a week.” Tsukishima shrugs. It isn’t that he is indifferent, but he just wants to hide everything. He wants to hide everything related to them.

They belong to his past, not his present. It didn’t matter what it was. What is from the past, can never be part of the present.

Tsukishima decided that he didn’t want to continue this conversation with Yamaguchi so he just slid his headphones on and drowned out the noise from the extreme hyper group and very concerned Yamaguchi.

It was his life and he would be the one to stir his life, not the 3 people who he had cared about from his past.

He slid under the covers, with the headphones on his head. He won’t be disturbed for the rest of the night.

Still the 3 people have never left his mind. He just couldn’t forget about them after all.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Tsukishima woke up pretty early. He grabbed his toothpaste, toothbrush and his towel and made his way to the washroom alone, since Yamaguchi was still asleep. He stepped into the washroom and made his way to the basin. He placed his stuff on the side while his towel sat on his shoulders.

He turned on the water supply and splashed his face, to wash the sleep from his eyes. He wipe his face with his towel before picking up his toothbrush and toothpaste. He squeezed some on his toothpaste on his toothbrush before starting to brush his teeth.

Tsukishima glanced around before someone steps into the washroom. Tsukishima glances over and it was Akaashi. “Good morning.” Akaashi greets while yawning. Tsukishima bows slightly in acknowledgment. Tsukishima spit out the toothpaste in his mouth before rinsing it. He then wiped his mouth with his towel. Tsukishima turns around to only be met with Akaashi. “Sorry.” Tsukishima mutters. He walks away with his things in his hands but is immediately stopped by Akaashi’s voice, “Do you hate us?”

That was was dripping with sadness and it stabbed Tsukishima in his gut. “I don’t.” Tsukishima answers. “Then why?” Akaashi asks. Tsukishima dares not to turn around, afraid that those eyes, those perfect features, would be able to draw out his true feelings. “Simply because, I’m straight.” Yea, play the straight card. They will understand.

Tsukishima has, many times, told his mother and brother that the three of them were his boyfriends, when he was younger. _“Mommy! Mommy! I have boyfriends!” Tsukishima is jumping up and down next to his mother who is currently preparing dinner. “And who might he be?” His mother humours him. “Tetsu a-and Kou and and Keichi.” Tsukishima would smile so wide, his mother thought he was gonna explode from happiness._ Young Tsukishima who still couldn’t pronounce his words well, always said that.

The word just came out because Bokuto mentioned it. He definitely regarded them as friends back then. Tsukishima also really admired them. “Oh.” Akaashi’s reply sounded so sad.

Tsukishima felt that and it hurts him so much. Akaashi is not one to show much of any feelings, even if the older did love rather loudly. “Don’t feel sad Akaashi-san. I just can’t be with you guys.” Tsukishima said his part and left.

Akaashi who is now alone in the washroom, felt the distance with the added honorific and the use of his surname instead of his first name. Have their relationship gotten this bad over the past 12 years they weren’t with him?

“Babe, why are you standing here alone.... and crying? What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?” Kuroo freaked out as he held Akaashi’s hands. “No, I just talked to Kei-chan and he called me Akaashi-san. Did our relationship deteriorate that badly?” Akaashi hugs Kuroo tightly and bury his face in Kuroo’s shoulder. “Well 12 years is no short time. We didn’t even keep in contact.” Kuroo notes as he strokes Akaashi’s head.

Akaashi nods. Actually Tsukishima is watching from the opposite side. “Ahhh, it’s all my fault. I made him cry. I shouldn’t make him cry, even if I said I wouldn’t be together with them again.” Tsukishima removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He can feel the headache coming.

Tsukishima makes his way back to the classroom to put his things away before going downstairs for breakfast.

He guessed they would be the one to do the most penalty laps so he figured he should at least eat something. Tsukishima avoids the 3 older boys as much as possible. There is no way Tsukishima will ruin anything for them. However, it seemed that it would be better if he just gave in to their requests, they are suffering because of his actions. No matter what he did, it just seemed like they are suffering.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Tsukishima mutters as he enters the cafeteria. He go grab his food and took a seat next to Yamaguchi. “You will put in more effort today right?” Yamaguchi asks. This is the only way that Yamaguchi could get Tsukishima to agree and that is to pester the blond. “No I’m not. I’m determined with my decision and I’m not that weak-willed.” Tsukishima says before he starts eating. Yamaguchi huffs before he continues eating his half finished food.

After breakfast, all the teams went to different courts to do their warm up and discuss about that day’s strategy for the games. Not surprisingly, Nekoma and Fukurodani were placed in the same gym. Karasuno had their own gym and the other two schools shared a gym.

First they started with warm up, then they started discussing. “Okay, so today, we will still be rotating. Tsukishima and Hinata would not be playing in today’s matches. Please try to observe the other games. Sugawara will be playing setter for all the game today and...” the rest of what coach Ukai said was tuned out.

Tsukishima won’t be playing. He won’t be able to distract himself from the 3 boyfriends who also happen to be his childhood friends who also happen to want him to join their relationship.

Tsukishima let out an absentminded sigh. Everything is really not going his way today. He made Akaashi cry and now he won’t be playing which means that he can’t distract himself from those 3 people. He look over at the court where currently, Nekoma and Fukurodani are playing against each other. A sigh escapes his lips.

It’s not like he could request to be put into the game. It was supposed to be a chance for the others in the team. Tsukishima resigns to his fate. So he just watches the other teams play, mainly the middle blockers since he us a middle blocker and he is supposed to learn something from them.

Somehow, his eyes kept being drawn to Kuroo. The older played the same position as he did. The older obviously much better than he is in many ways. Kuroo’s receives were good too, his lacking comparing to the older.

Tsukishima also found himself staring at Bokuto and Akaashi as well. The setter and ace duo, their teamwork is amazing. Akaashi always did all he could to send the ball to Bokuto.

“Stop obsessing over them.” Tsukishima mutters to himself and buried his face into his hands. It kinda hurts. It all just seem to hurt a little more than usual. It all seem to be a little overwhelming for the tall blond. “Tsukki, are you okay?” Yamaguchi came over to where he was and asked. “I’m fine. Has the game ended?” Tsukishima tried his best to sound natural.

Yamaguchi nodded, “We lost.” The both of them made their way outside, the rest of the team waiting for them at the base of the hill. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima quickly made their way over and they ran up together. Tsukishima really is a little frustrated. His thoughts are jumbled up all over.

Yamaguchi took a gulp of water from the bottles his team’s manager was handing out. He then saw Kuroo running up the slope. Tsukishima tilts his head at the sight. He guessed that they probably lost to Fukurodani. He was sure he also saw Bokuto and Akaashi running once yesterday as well. He wondered which game was that, which team defeated one of the top 5 aces.

Kuroo immediately made his way over to him after running. “You aren’t playing today? That is a shame.” Kuroo hooks his arm around Tsukishima’s shoulders. “Anyway, you are joining us for individual training tonight. No running away.” Kuroo said his piece and left, not even giving Tsukishima a chance to answer.

Tsukishima sigh in defeat, have they ever been this forceful like this? Maybe their relationship caused it.

So after a long day of penalty runs, it is now time for their individual training. Kuroo didn’t let Tsukishima have the chance to run away. The older grabbed his hand and made their way to the 3rd gym. Bokuto and Akaashi are following behind them. Tsukishima sighs for the n-th time today. “Is this necessary?” Tsukishima asks. “Well you want to go to Nationals right? Maybe your team want to go to Nationals.” Kuroo says.

Tsukishima sighs, “It’s just a club, nothing more. I don’t see the benefit of working hard at it except maybe you could write a ‘I worked hard during trainings’ on your resumé.” Bokuto and Kuroo seemed offended. Volleyball idiots. Akaashi didn’t say anything or have any change in expression.

“I was sure I taught you better than this.” Kuroo squints his eyes at the taller boy. “People change.” Tsukishima retaliates. The only thing that is constant in their lives is change. That is why Tsukishima was left all alone in Miyagi. Their homes that Tsukishima used to visit are now no longer places he could enter.

That change was drastic for young Tsukishima, now, Tsukishima can’t be bothered at all.

So now all of them are inside the gym. “I am not interested in seeing you love birds flirt.” Tsukishima says as he rolls his eyes. Kuroo and Bokuto were doing some questionable things. Akaashi just stood there giggling at their antics.

They used to be like that. Nostalgia hits Tsukishima. _“I will be King of this town!” Bokuto shouts from that big rock. Kuroo trying to push Bokuto off. Akaashi would be laughing while Tsukishima just stared at them, clueless about what they are doing._ Time cant go backwards, if it could Tsukishima wants to go back to the time they never left.

“We are not flirting. We are just having fun.” Bokuto argues. “Whatever, whatever. I’m not too interested in this. If there is nothing else, I’ll go now.” Tsukishima says then waited for their reply but it never really came. “Hello? Excuse me? Anyone there?” Tsukishima speaks once again when they didn’t say anything.

Akaashi makes his way towards Tsukishima. Tsukishima didn’t back away but he did want to seeing Akaashi’s determined look. Akaashi just hugged Tsukishima. Tsukishima was sure that when they were younger, Akaashi wasn’t this touchy, or clingy. Usually it is Bokuto doing these kinds of stuff.

“Don’t leave Kei-chan. Don’t leave us.” Akaashi says in a small voice. “I live in Miyagi, Of course I have to leave.” Tsukishima stood as stiff as a rod there as Akaashi held him. “Don’t leave our lives. We need you.” Akaashi looks up at Tsukishima. “I...I never left. You guys are the ones who left me.” Tsukishima could feel the tears filling up his eyes.

He remembered for days, he would go to the same park they had often came together and he would go there over and over for two weeks before his mother finally told him the truth. Tsukishima cried and shouted, he even threw a tantrum. He would skip meals and honestly was beyond sad that his friends who promised to stay with him had left.

As he got older, he just kinda understood that children didn’t have the power to decide what happens to themselves. Tsukishima just got over it.

Tsukishima looked down, “It’s okay though. I know you guys couldn’t decide and it’s fine. I never held it against you anyway.”

Akaashi hugged him even tighter. “I’m sorry, we are all sorry.” Akaashi says in a very soft voice. “I said it was fine. It didn’t really matter that you left. I just really missed you guys for the first few years, before school started. Well aren’t we supposed to be training? Not slacking off like this?” Tsukishima reminds them of the very important training, the one that this time was allocated for.

So they trained. A lot of Bokuto’s spikes get past Tsukishima’s blocks. “Tch.” Tsukishima clicked his tongue before rubbing slightly on his fingers. Bokuto’s spikes aren’t jokes.

“Kei, get stronger and we will meet on the court!” Bokuto hyped.

Tsukishima shrugged, not too interested in actually going to nationals. He however feel slightly light headed with these 3. Its going to be a long week.


	4. Chapter 4

Persistent is an understatement when it comes to the 3 boyfriends who have tried to get Tsukishima to join their 3 way relationship. Tsukishima had just exited the bathroom, all fresh and ready to deal with the freak duo on his team, when Kuroo literally grabs him right outside. “Okay, what the hell are you trying to do, Kuroo-san.” Tsukishima glared at the back of Kuroo’s head as he was dragged to the cafeteria. He is obviously annoyed with the 3 seniors who are also his childhood friends who had left him when they were younger. “You.” Kuroo points at him, “Are having breakfast with us.” Tsukishima audibly sighs. They really want to spend a lot of time with him since he is here.

So he was dragged (unwillingly) to the table where Akaashi and Bokuto were seated. Akaashi kept him there while Bokuto and Kuroo got food for them. “Kei-chan.” Akaashi says. Tsukishima looked over at the older boy. “Don’t leave us. We will make sure we won’t leave as well.” Akaashi says. Tsukishima squeeze his eyes shut. Tsukishima didn’t know what he wanted. He is happy he got to meet them again after so long. He probably wouldn’t leave. Tsukishima still felt hurt from their leaving years ago, even though he understood that children simply don’t have the power.

Tsukishima scratches the back of his neck before sighing. “I won’t leave. I never left, but I did change.” Tsukishima mumbles. After they left, he closed himself off. Losing them was really a huge thing for him. “We’re here with breakfast.” Kuroo announces.

This reminded him of all those sleepovers they had when they were younger. _“Shh, Kei is sleeping. He is so cute.” Kuroo whispers. “I’m hungry, Tetsu. Let’s go eat first.” Bokuto whines. “We should eat together, Kou. Eating together is more fun.” Akaashi would mumble softly. Tsukishima would groan and sit up with his eyes still closed. Pulled off his warm bed and into the kitchen._

Tsukishima smiles at that memory. “What are you smiling at, Kei?” Kuroo asks as he digs into his food. “T-that is none of your business.” Tsukishima turns away with a blush high on his cheeks. He can’t possibly tell them that he is smiling because he was reminded of their childhood. No, no, no, never. Over he dead body. It would only allow Kuroo and Bokuto to tease him.

“It probably has something to do with us.” Akaashi mumbles. Tsukishima tried his best not to choke on his food. Setter Akaashi is so perceptive. It is probably difficult to hide anything from the older. So with that they ate as peacefully as it could get with Bokuto and Kuroo in close proximity. Tsukishima just didn’t pay attention to their antics as he looked around the almost empty cafeteria. Many people were still asleep since the games wouldn’t start for another one hour or so.

They practically have the whole place to themselves.

Then it became a serious, a hand was placed atop of his. “Kei, join us please?” Kuroo was looking at him with a serious expression. “I’m straight.” Tsukishima pushes up his spectacles before looking at Kuroo. “Your little friend there told us that you never dated a girl in the 16 years of your life. You even called us your boyfriends when you were younger.” That memory only brought a smile to Tsukishima’s face. “That is only a memory, a part of our past right? We can be friends again.” Tsukishima can’t change their relationship. He only wanted to stay friends.

Tsukishima desperately clings onto that familiarity, he didn’t want that to change. Maybe he would be okay with change, but after so many years, he can’t help but want that familiarity, like the 3 older boys never left, they were still friends. “Friends? Are we being friend-zoned right now?” Bokuto asks with a frown on his face. “I didn’t want us to change. You’re important to me.” Tsukishima says as he fiddles with his fingers. “Kou, you’re making Kei feel uncomfortable.” Akaashi says. Tsukishima didn’t know whether he was relieved or scared. Could it be that they are giving up on him?

“Kei? Kei? Kei.” Kuroo has clasped his hands around Tsukishima’s face. “What’s wron- oh god.” Kuroo starts wiping Tsukishima’s tears but the younger boy didn’t know why. “Why are you crying, Kei-chan?” Bokuto asks. “Huh?” Tsukishima move away to brush the tears off his face. “I’m so sorry. I’m ruining breakfast for you guys.” Tsukishima says as he stands up and runs away. He hides in a corner as his tears flow freely. “Am I so upset that they will stop all this?” Tsukishima mumbles to himself.

Tsukishima didn’t know that he had cried for over an hour until he heard his name being called. “You’re here.” Kenma, Nekoma’s setter stood in front of him. Tsukishima look up with his red eyes. “You’ve been crying? I never quite pinned you as a cryer.” Kenma comments, “Come on, everyone is worried about you. The games started but you weren’t there.” Tsukishima bows, “I’m so sorry, Kenma-san.”

Kenma waves his hands dismissively. “Kuroo, I found him.” Kenma mumbles into his phone. A moment later, he count hear footsteps getting louder towards him. Kuroo was running over with a worried face on. He runs over to Tsukishima and pulled the blond into a hug. “I was so worried you would do something stupid, Kei.” Tsukishima could tell Kuroo was panting really hard. “We are so sorry that we are forcing you to join us. We were only thinking about own feelings and not yours.” Kuroo apologises.

Tsukishima could never be mad at Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi. They were so important to him, he really admired them. Whenever Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi wouldn’t come over, he would sulk for the whole day, until they came. They always brought snacks and they would make him so happy. He only has good memories of them.

Tsukishima turn his head slightly to kiss Kuroo’s neck before wrapping his arms around Kuroo tightly. “I guess I miss you guys too much. The thought that you might be giving up on me, made me sad. I didn’t know what to do.” Tsukishima seem to only sob harder. Kuroo has never seen the blond cry, not even as kids.

“Kei.” Akaashi calls out. Tsukishima looked up with his tear stained face. How it hurt Akaashi and Bokuto who is standing next to him. Akaashi walked over to them and hugged Tsukishima from behind. Bokuto hugging from behind Akaashi. He is with his best friends again. “Let’s go wash up then go back to the games. We will explain everything to your coach. You rest today as well.” Kuroo places a kiss on his cheeks. Akaashi places a kiss on Tsukishima’s shoulder. Bokuto peppered Tsukishima with many many kisses.

They went to the washroom to let Tsukishima wash up. “Join us when you’re ready. We are also willing to be your best friends forever.” Akaashi says. Tsukishima rushed over to give Akaashi a tight hug. “Thank you.” Tsukishima whispers.

They separate before Daichi, Sugawara and Yamaguchi rushed into the bathroom. “Are you alright? Are you feeling well? We will let you rest in the rooms for today.” Sugawara look over Tsukishima in a frantic manner. Seeing this, the 3 boyfriends seem relieved, their Kei-chan is being cared for well. They leave the bathroom and reunite with their teams.

The practice games started and Tsukishima is in the room his team uses, alone. His headphones on, plugged into his phone, playing one of his favourite playlists of all time. The door opened, but Tsukishima didn’t realise. Yamaguchi had come with lunch. Had Tsukishima been laying there for that long? Yamaguchi placed the bowl on the floor next to him as he taps Tsukishima on the shoulder.

Tsukishima turn to look at his freckled friend before sitting upright and removing his headphones. “What’s wrong?” Tsukishima asks. “Lunch time.” Yamaguchi hands his blond friend the bowl of food. “Sugawara asked for it to be brought to you.” Yamaguchi sits crossed legged across his friend. Tsukishima nods and starts digging in. “Say, you should give them a chance.” Yamaguchi says.

Tsukishima shakes his head. “Now, why not? I don’t see anything wrong with dating your childhood friend.” Yamaguchi huffs. “I’m scared.” Tsukishima admits to Yamaguchi. “Scared? This is the first time I’m hearing you say you’re scared, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi has a small smile on his face. “Scared of change?” Yamaguchi probs. It was silent for a bit before a small ‘yea’ is heard from Tsukishima. “I understand that, but their feelings need some kind of answer, whether it is rejection, or a chance.” Yamaguchi sighs. “You’re smart Tsukki, so I can’t believe that you’re being troubled by such a simply problem with simple answers.” Yamaguchi looks at Tsukishima with eyes that looked like it had the answer to every question to the world.

Tsukishima nods. “Tonight, I will do something about that.” Tsukishima promises. Yamaguchi smiles and waits for Tsukishima to finish his food so he could bring the bowl out. After Yamaguchi left, Tsukishima spent the whole afternoon thinking. Mr Takeda and Coach Ukai came over to look at him after all the matches ended. He had time to ask for advice and think about it some more before making his way to the 3rd gym he knows they are there.

They looking so flawless standing there. They were already perfect. Do they really need him in the mix? His childhood friends, are happy without him. Why did he have to slip up?

_“Kou! Tetsu! Keichi! I love you! Stay with me forever.” Kei shouted from the top of the boulder they used to hang out at. They weren’t there to receive his words and feelings of love. They were gone. They had already left Tsukishima all alone._

Tsukishima clenches at his chest. He didn’t get to tell them that he loved them when he was younger. This was a second chance right? It is a different kind of love isn’t it? They looked like princes in the past. Tall, much taller than Tsukishima. They had pretty eyes in the past, now too. Tsukishima just seem drawn into them.

“Kei, you’re here.” Tsukishima was pulled out of his thoughts by Akaashi’s voice. “You feeling better?” Bokuto rushes over to him. “Hey, you need to stay in bed like the good boy you are, Kei.” Kuroo smirks. “Yea I’m fine. I’ve been thinking for the whole day.” Tsukishima says, fiddling with the zipper on his jacket. “What’s wrong, Kei? You can tell us anything.” Akaashi places a hand on his. How can Tsukishima ignore the feelings he had for them? His eyes sting. Why? Was his young self already so sure that he would want to spend the rest of his life these 3 older boys in front of him? His younger self has a more clear grasp of his future than he now does.

How poorly does Tsukishima understand his own feelings? Tsukishima took a deep breath then looked at them all in the eyes. He has to prepare himself for this moment. This is important, really important. “I-” “Hey! Let’s train!” Hinata come bolting into the gym and absolutely cut Tsukishima off. “What was it, Kei?” Bokuto tilted his head to his side as he looked at Tsukishima with a confused look. “It-It’s fine. It’s not important.” Tsukishima sighs, turns around to leave, but his hand was grabbed. “Why not practice with us then?” Kuroo smiles.

Tsukishima only nodded slightly and followed them to the net. His chance to act has been ruined by that over energetic tangerine.

“I have to try again some other time.” Tsukishima mumbles to himself as he stands in front of the net, opposite Bokuto, Akaashi and that stupid tangerine who had ruined everything for him for the night. He glares as hard as he could at his teammate, like he could kill with his eyes. He swears to god, his chances are always ruined by this stupid ball of energy. He hates it so much. When could he just get his feelings out of the way?


	5. Chapter 5

After the training session, Tsukishima trudged to the cafeteria and grabbed his food before sitting at some random table alone. He is drained, emotionally and physically. That orange ball of energy just has a way of riling him up. He didn’t really want to cause any trouble for his captain so he just tried to calm himself down before things really got out of hand. He sat quietly and ate. Everyone had already eaten and left, apparently the 3rd gym were the last group of people the managers came to remind. Akaashi came over to sit with him. “Hey, you alright? You seem really tired after the training.” Akaashi asked. Tsukishima honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he fell asleep hearing Akaashi’s voice, it was really soothing. “It’s draining to be with them for that short 2 hours.” Tsukishima admits as he continues to bring the spoon to his mouth. “Kei, you’re getting food all over your mouth.” Akaashi smiles. “Ah, I’m so sorry. I’m just so tired. After all those penalty laps I had to do on the previous day and then having to practice with Bokuto. I am practically dead.” Tsukishima pulls out his handkerchief to brush whatever food he had on his face down. He would totally trade his life for sleep right now.

Akaashi nods in understanding. After all these years of hanging out with the two older boys, he definitely understands what Tsukishima is getting at. So Tsukishima quickly finishes his food then went to the shower room to shower. He wanted to just sleep his life away after training with Bokuto. Removing his clothes in one of the cubicles, he stare at his pale skin. It was streaked with scars and blemishes. He isn’t as perfect as Akaashi, Bokuto and Kuroo. That was what he thought when he compared himself to them. “They deserve better.” Tsukishima mumbles as he lather the shower gel on himself, wanting to just finish up and crawl into the futons and sleep. Just as he walks out from the cubicle, he sees Bokuto and Kuroo kissing. “I’m sorry.” Tsukishima looks away after realising what exactly were they doing. Kuroo and Bokuto immediately pull away. “We’re sorry you had to see that.” Kuroo says as he scratches the back of his neck. “Don’t worry about me, please carry on.” Tsukishima only rushes to get out of the shower room. Kuroo and Bokuto just stare at him as he exits the shower room.

"Did we mess up again?" Tsukishima could hear Bokuto asking Kuroo. "God, why do I always make them feel so uncomfortable with my presence?" Tsukishima mumbles to himself as he rushes to go back to his assigned room. He just had to rush out like this. He just had to make things even more difficult for himself. He just had to do things wrong every single time. At this point, Tsukishima is certain that he is supposed to screw up his whole life, before being able to do something right for once. Tsukishima sighs and enter the room. Everyone was sitting or lying down on their futons. Sleeping or chatting with whoever slept beside them. Yamaguchi is sitting at the other end with his phone in his hands. His futon already neatly laid out. "Tsukki." Yamaguchi calls him. Tsukishima nods slightly in acknowledgement and made his way over. He placed his dirty clothes into a small separate bag and sat down on his futon. "You practiced with them? Are you finally feeling better?" Yamaguchi asks. "Yes and yes." Tsukishima mumbles. "Did you try to maybe admit your feelings for them?" Yamaguchi asks with a small knowing smile on his face. Tsukishima glares at his best friend before slouching and shaking his head 'no'.

Yamaguchi was going to ask why, but Tsukishima was already glaring at the person at fault. "You got interrupted?" Yamaguchi asks with a understanding smile on his face. "Yea." Tsukishima sighs, "I also made them extremely uncomfortable by walking in on them making out." Yamaguchi chuckles at that. "I think all you really need to do is explain yourself. Plus, I think all will fall into place if you just confess your feelings." Yamaguchi beams. Tsukishima nods slightly. It didn’t really matter. Tsukishima is extremely weak willed. It has only been a day and he is wanting to confess to them already. He could have held out for the week. After this week, they won’t meet each other for at least another year, before the new season starts. It really didn’t matter. Tsukishima sighs before he lies down on his futon and burrow himself into the sheets and cover himself with the warm cover. He really just wants to hide in there forever, however that is impossible because he would have to go for the games tomorrow.

Morning came a little faster than Tsukishima had expected. He was nudges awake by Yamaguchi. “Good morning, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi greets. Tsukishima squints at hime before slowly sitting up. He grabbed his glasses and put it on before grabbing his toiletries. He makes his way to the bathroom and freshen up, brushing his teeth then splashing his face with water. Tsukishima made his way out of the bathroom and to the cafeteria. Still it was pretty empty, even though he woke up slightly later than he usually did. Yamaguchi got his breakfast while he grabbed their drinks and sat at a empty table. He saw Akaashi, Bokuto and Kuroo sitting at the table he was brought to yesterday morning. He made effort not to approach them. Yamaguchi was glaring at him. “No way, Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima mutters. They definitely didn’t want any unwanted ears to listen to their conversation. “Tsukki you promised.” Yamaguchi sighs. “Why are you so persistent?” Tsukishima squints his eyes suspiciously at Yamaguchi. “I just want my best friend to be happy.” Yamaguchi smiles as brightly as the sun that is slowly rising.

Tsukishima sighs. It was such a pure hearted motive. Tsukishima stands up, his food unfinished. He makes sure there were no stray food around his mouth as he makes his way to the trio. His heart is in his throat. No doubt that by now Akaashi would have already known what happen last night in the shower rooms, how he simply ran away after seeing Kuroo and Bokuto kissing each other. His palms absolutely sweaty. Sweat is running down from his forehead. The 3 boyfriends didn’t notice him until he was standing at their table. Tsukishima turn his head to look at Yamaguchi who just gave him 2 thumbs up. He turn his head back to look at the 3 older boys who looked at him with confused looks. All attention was on him. He kinda feels overwhelmed. He looks back at Yamaguchi who just glares at him. He took a deep breath. “I-” Tsukishima cuts himself off. No he can’t, he can’t. “I lo-” Tsukishima sighs. “It’s not-” Tsukishima cut himself off when he feels someone place a hand on his shoulder. “Tell them Tsukki, they won’t understand if you don’t tell them.” Yamaguchi rolls his eyes.

Kuroo gave a look of confusion. “What do you want to tell us, Kei?” Akaashi asks. “You can’t back out, Tsukki. This is your chance.” Yamaguchi encourages him in a hushed voice from his side. “Yea, you can tell us anything, Kei. We will listen.” Bokuto even quieten down just to listen to him, which is extremely rare. “Were you uncomfortable because of yesterday?” Kuroo hazards a guess. Tsukishima knew they were thinking about that. Tsukishima now feels extremely bad for showering at that time. Tsukishima shook his head. “I’m just relaying a message from my past self.” Tsukishima decides to hide behind that card, “I love you. I love you 3 so much.” Tsukishima scratches the back of his head, “You guys left, before you could hear me say that to you. I even asked Akiteru nii-san to teach me how to say those words specifically.” It was silence. Tsukishima could already feel Yamaguchi boring holes into the back of his head. It was so out of character for his freckled best friend. “Is that all Kei-chan?” Kuroo asks with a small smile on his face. Tsukishima nods. “You’re so cute, baby.” Kuroo stands up and places a kiss on Tsukishima’s forehead. Tsukishima smiles and Yamaguchi is in a bad mood.

They left the 3 boyfriends to be alone and do their thing. Yamaguchi started to go on a full on lecture about Tsukishima having to be truthful to his feelings and not hide behind excuses. “You know, Tsukki, I thought you would be able to carry this out better. You need to be true to your feelings.” Yamaguchi sighs. “No every person you meet appreciates the truth, Yamaguchi. I am simply saving them from the pain of being with me. They would be so much better off if I were never involved in their lives.” Tsukishima glared. He doesn’t know what he is glaring at or why is he glaring, he just glared. He knows everyone is better off without his snarky comments that seem to always result in heated arguments, whoever the other person was. Maybe he was mad at himself, after all these years, he fell in love with the most impossible bunch of people ever. It just had to be them. “Yea, but you wont know without asking, so can you just grab your shit and actually confess to them properly?” Yamaguchi resists the urge to actually smack Tsukishima in the head. “You love them, that is all that matters, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi grabs onto Tsukishima’s shirt, forcing the blond to listen for once.

“Yamaguchi, you just don’t understand.” Tsukishima sighs, making no attempt to remove his best friend’s hands from his shirt. “Look at them. They are happy, without me. I will only break them up. You know how I am, you know how i turned out. I have changed so much, even sometimes I don’t recognise myself.” Tsukishima looks away from Yamaguchi, he also dare not look at the 3 boyfriends. It only hurts more to look at them. “Stupid Tsukki. If they didn’t want you, would they ask you?” Yamaguchi sighs. “You know, they had completely forgotten about me until they heard me talk about it to you? They never wanted me from the start. They had already forgotten about me completely.” Tsukishima sulks. They had forgotten him. They didn’t want him at all. They only found out when the eavesdropped on him and Yamaguchi. They weren’t meant to be together, somehow Tsukishima had lost the confidence of confessing after so much thinking last night. He made them so uncomfortable when he walked in on them. He even ran away when they said they wanted him to join them.

Simply put, Tsukishima is pretty much hopeless.

“Tsukki....” Yamaguchi let his hands go from Tsukishima’s shirt, instead he grabbed his best friend’s hand, “Just try, the worst thing they could do is reject you and never talk to you again. You have lived 12 years without seeing or talking to them. I am sure you can live with that for the rest of your life.” Yamaguchi looked at Tsukishima’s expression, no change. “You will regret it if you don’t tell them your true feelings, Tsukki. I absolutely don’t think you would be able to live with that regret.” Yamaguchi pulls them towards the courts where they will be starting their warm ups. “Now it’s time for warm ups for the games.” Tsukishima just let himself be dragged as gears in his mind starts turning again, weighing the possibilities of things and the pros and cons. This would not only affect him but also 3 other people. He definitely didn’t want to fail this, he also didn’t want to regret anything he is going to do. Now or even in the future.

Well it became a real problem. He was the one who said no first.


End file.
